Hello September

Another month is with us – actually, I think it’s been with us for some time but I hadn’t noticed. Anyway – Hello September.

Pre-empting the traditional reminder/prompt/nag/threat from my agent – All Hail Hazel! – it’s September blog time and so far, it’s full of nothing happening.

I didn’t attack anyone during yesterday’s town festival despite the death wish of local political parties trying to hand me leaflets. A small fire did break out in a litter bin but I swear that was nothing to do with me.

I haven’t been anywhere or done anything, mostly because I’ve been welded to my laptop for the last fortnight. However – it’s update time. I’ve finished the Christmas St Mary’s story Why is Nothing Ever Simple? and the manuscript’s gone off.

I’ve finished Plan for the Worst – or at least I’m at the stage where someone slightly saner needs to take a look at it – and that’s gone off, too

I’ve even finished a Frogmorton Farm Christmas story – Joy to the World – although I may have left it too late for this year’s Christmas list and it has to wait until next year. The point is that I’ve been busy and as I keep telling Hazel, I can write or I can frolic, but not both. Not simultaneously, anyway. She simply opens one eye, makes herself more comfortable on her hoard of gold, and goes back to sleep again.

Anyway, with all that done, I’ve opened my laptop, typed Time Police 2 – Hard Time – and now I’m staring at the blank screen. Actually, it’s not that blank. As I said, I’ve spent a lot of time chained to the wee beastie over the last couple of months and, like me, it’s not looking its best. The screen is smeary – that’s the polite word for it – and the keyboard part is actually quite gross. The delete key doesn’t work properly because it’s full of toast crumbs. So, a plea for help. Can anyone recommend anything – wipes or sprays or whatever – that will enable me to return my poor abused laptop to its former pristine condition? I’ve only had it two years and you wouldn’t believe how it looks. I’ve tried Pledge and that did not go well. Nor did the eye-makeup remover wipes. About the only thing left in the cupboard is Cillit Bang Limescale Remover and I’m a bit dubious about that.

Any thoughts?


  • Sally-Anne Till

    You can get some really great screen cleaner from PC World. Great on TV screens too.
    Turn your keyboard upside down on a sheet of paper overnight to get the worst out. Then used the canned air (also available at PC World).
    There are more bacteria on the average computer keyboard than on the average toilet seat. Just saying.
    Looking forward to Doing Time 😊

  • Lynda Morgan

    First thing I’d do is turn it upside down and give it a good thump – that’ll help with the crumbs, (or it will if you’ve got regular keys) plus a once over with the brush attachment of a vacuum cleaner.

  • Nell Hirst

    This sounds like a job for the professionals – take it to your local pc shop – or google for some one who will do a housecall. They have all the cleaners, brushes cans of air (?) etc You can make them a cup of tea and have a legal sanctioned ‘time out’. Of course – and I probarbly don’t need to say this but I am a librarian so …back up everything before hand.

  • Fi Mayer

    Canned air yes for the keyboard. Lens cleaner is good for the screen. If I was closer I would make it all better for you.
    Is Hazel lounging on the pile of gold in the Bahamas holiday home

  • Joan

    I use glasses cleaner wipes for the screen stops the smearing. Blow the breadcrumbs lol

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